Here are some great questions I recently asked myself:
What are your beauty routine secrets?
Well, I try to keep it simple. And by that I mean I inevitably run out of time because I’d rather create luxurious breakfast skillets every morning than play with my sort of hopeless face. I usually end up with my Alima Pure mineral foundation, lots of matte hot pink blush, and mascara. I could pretend it’s “minimalist” and “feminine,”, but actually it’s just because I lounge in bed reading my Twitter feed every morning instead of moving my butt. But hey, everyone on the east coast has been tweeting for three hours by the time my alarm goes off! That’s a lot of links and jokes to work through.
My other beauty secret is that I don’t really wash my hair very often. If I work out in the morning, my hair goes up in a stretchy band and bun with some dry shampoo and stays up. This is Workout Hairstyle. Congratulations, now all of you can tell when I work out and praise me accordingly! I shower after a workout, but don’t wash my hair. Headsweat isn’t THAT gross, guys!
Other than that, my hair routine is usually: Day 1 - washed and down (maybe straightened or rolled in no heat curls overnight), Day 2 - dry shampoo in my bangs and down (and/or Workout Hairstyle), Day 3 - dry shampoo in my bangs and around the edges, pony or Workout Hairstyle, Day 4 - same as Day 3 OR wash your hair you disgusting hippie. Repeat.
Oh, and I eat 2-3 avocados a week.
Speaking of wasting time, what is a luxurious breakfast skillet?
Oh man, I’m so glad I asked! Breakfast skillets are amazing. They are the epitome of luxury. I’m a hungry bear in the mornings, so I cook a ton of veggies and add a fried egg on top. I never get tired of this breakfast. Lately my skillets have included onion, peppers, mushrooms, garlic, cayenne, grated sweet potato, chard, spinach, kale, and avocado. I try to eat at least 2-3 avocados a week so if I’m ever interviewed about my beauty secrets, I can say “I eat 2-3 avocados a week,” like it’s that simple.
But seriously, avocados are amazing and breakfast skillets are the source of my power. I chop most of the veggies on Sunday to save time during the week (see: wasting time on Twitter).
In that one Prodigal column, you said you have 54 pairs of shoes. Are you serious?
Actually, I’m not. Things have drastically changed since I wrote that column. I now own 55 pairs of shoes. And yes, I know what all of them look like. Yes, I need them all. Yes, they are as different to me as children. Yes, I wear them all regularly. No, I don’t wear children, I’m not Cruella de Ville.
What’s on your Spotify playlist these days?
Songs that make me close my eyes and act like a space tranced weirdo. Lately I’ve had strange and incurable reactions to: “Some Nights” by Fun., “Sleeping Sickness” by City and Colour, “Ho Hey” by The Lumineers, “Cobrastyle” by Robyn, “No Concern of Yours” by Punch Brothers, and “As Long as You Love Me” by the great Justin Bieber. Listening to these songs significantly increases my productivity at work, but I’ve crashed into like, four trees when listening to this playlist while running.
What’s your greatest accomplishment?
Well, this interview is pretty impressive. I’m on TUMBLR, you guys. The actual Tumblr.
Other than that, I’d say I’m proud of running a 10k, having a blog post top 10k shares, and how fashionable my amazing niece looks thanks to my racking up 10k in tutu debt at Baby Gap.
One of my goals is to read all of the Pulitzer Prize Novels. I
haven’t gotten very far, but I’m proud that I even have a pretentious
goal like that!
Which fictional characters have you crushed on?
In chronological life order: Edmund Pevensie, Tin Tin, Joe Hardy, Han Solo, Mr Knightley, JD from Scrubs, Fred or George Weasley, and Schmidt from New Girl. I usually like the impulsive, charming, smart boys who can either get me into trouble or talk me out of it.
And fictional boys, obviously.
But I like human ones, too.
Other than World Peace, what’s one thing you want to change about the world?
I want to change the assumption that just because I hold a baby, I must want to push one out of my own body. I’m not terribly interested in that grow-a-human-inside-you thing, but I love people. Babies, it turns out, are actually just tiny little adorable people. What I love is that I get to play with your cool kids and make your babies laugh and then give them back to you for that whole raising them thing.
Babies think I’m hilarious.
But seriously, Parent Friends, I’m here for you. Parenting is an INSANE job and you need way more support than you’re getting. I consider myself like a parent to parents. And like an aunt to children. But a Cool Aunt, of course. And like a babysitter who will still watch your kids even if you don’t pay me, but you should totally pay me. Even if it’s in like, wine. Which we will share after you get home and your kids are asleep.
Who do you most frequently dream about?
People I follow on Twitter. Seriously. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the last thing I do before I go to sleep is check Twitter and the first thing I do when I wake up is check Twitter, but somehow, all of you crazy people are in my head. I usually dream that I am real life friends with someone I follow OR that I meet one of my Twitter crushes and am really really awkward. This probably makes me a prophet, because I’ve totally met some of my Twitter crushes and been super awkward.
I never dream about my followers, probably because if you are ridiculous enough to follow me, you belong in that club that would allow even Groucho Marx to join.
Are you ever serious?
Yes. I am serious about nonsense.
I do get violently serious about some things, though, even though I
talk about them in my calm, pacifist voice. A very quiet, slow, serious
calm voice that will scare you. It scares me, which is how I know I’m
I’m serious about speaking my own story. I’m serious about giving men and women space to speak up about their stories, when they’re ready. I’m serious about Love and Jesus and not separating the two in our actions. I’m serious about healthy communication and personal growth. I’m serious about men and women working together as individuals and equals in churches and leadership and friendship and lifeship. I’m serious about standing up against street harassment and spiritual abuse and shame. I’m serious about reading and thinking and talking about it all. I’m serious about using excess conjunctions to create rhythm in writing.
I’m serious about how much I love you.